Wedding Engagement Sitemap

Acknowledgments - In the preparation of this book, many professionals and experts have generously given advice and comments in order that the material might be accurate and interesting.

To my friend, Miss Katharine Gault, Division of General Educa­tion, New York University, I should like to offer special thanks for her wonderful assistance throughout the entire book.

01. Wedding customs - Question 1: Are wedding traditions, rituals, customs and conven­tions, as we know them today, of more or less modern origin?

Answer: By no means! They are among the oldest traditions which have come down to us, in some instances from rituals so ancient that their origin emerges only vaguely from the mists of history. Many of the customs pre-date the Christian era: some are sur­vivals of pagan rites which were blended through the centuries with Jewish and Christian rituals.

02. Engagement - Most of you who are now planning to marry were born at the time when the barriers of space had already begun to disappear. Only a generation ago young people in small communities and many of the larger cities went to school, grew up, went to parties, and then began to pair off in marriage. Rarely did a girl become engaged to a man her parents had never met, whose parents were unknown to her parents, or whose parents she had not met.

03. Budgets - The word budget does not always carry happy associations. Too often when many of us want to do something really adventurous, or buy something exquisitely exotic, there's the budget to confront us with "No!" But it is that same budget that gets us through school, a sum­mer vacation (like the one when Jane met Henry), a fur coat, and pays the butcher, baker and cosmetic maker.

04. The trousseau - Probably there are few other words in the language which awaken such delighted response in feminine hearts as "trousseau." It announces, first of all, that a young woman is preparing for marriage. It implies that she will have the loveliest underthings as well as outer costumes that she has ever had and that she can possibly afford.

05. Showers - While Jane and Henry are busily working over their budgets, buy­ing their trousseaus and planning the new home, friends and rela­tives begin to think of showers. In the old hymn, the "showers" are of blessings, but the parties for a bride-to-be are for showering gifts —whether these are blessings or otherwise depends upon the plan­ning of those who give the showers

06. Wedding plans - Even while Jane and Henry are discussing where to spend their honeymoon, assembling their trousseaus and planning their new home, it is none too soon to begin thinking of definite plans for the wedding. As already pointed out, the one thing that must be fully decided upon and completed is the budget.

07. Rehearsal - Jane and Henry have had ample occupation in planning and pre­paring for the wedding. During the planning stages all major deci­sions are reached, all arrangements completed. Then the rehearsal follows, and finally—the wedding!

When the time for the rehearsal comes, don't be alarmed if people are late and if, when they do arrive, they are out of humor! Don't be astonished if something has gone wrong about the delivery of clothes.

08. Honeymoon - In all the wedding planning, there is perhaps nothing which offers more excitement or more fun in its contemplation than the honey­moon. Jane and Henry will have this time alone together in whatever setting they choose—they may be surrounded by the millions of peo­ple in large cities, or they may be in a cabin in the Maine forests, but essentially they will be alone. It should be one of the most satisfying times of their whole life together.

09. Service wedding - The previous chapters have suggested all things concerning wed­ding plans and the actual performance at rehearsal, ceremony and reception. Very much the same procedure applies to the wedding when the bride or groom is a member of one of the Armed Services of the United States. However there are some differences between civilian and service weddings which are chiefly a question of protocol, and one who is marrying into one of them must be aware of all its nuances.

10. Wedding guest - If you have received an invitation to Jane's wedding, if you are to be a guest at any wedding, you really will not behave any differently from the way you do at church, or at any nice party. Most people have learned the fundamental tenets of social behavior. However, every­one always seems to be concerned as to whether there may be some special requirements as a guest at a wedding—and there are.

01. Sample Notes - 1. Letter from the mother of a newly engaged son to her futuredaughter-in-law:

Dear Mary,

My husband and I are really pleased to hear from John that you two are to be married. Now I can tell you that we have been wishing for this a long time.

We are sorry that we are not there to give you our best wishes. Since we will not be in New York until early in January, I shall invite your parents for a week-end with us in Philadelphia some­time during December.

02. Toasts - To the divinities of the Hellenic world belongs the honor of having sponsored the charming custom of toasting although the term "toast" was not connected with it until much later. To begin with, it seems to have been a gesture of obligation to "the gods" and to the dead. With time, as the custom continued on to the Romans, the Normans, the Norsemen, the Danes, and other nations of northern Europe, it de­veloped into the offering of "healths" to persons.

03. Wedding Invitations - Wedding invitations and announcements are sent to the family, friends and acquaintances (including business associates) of both the bride's and groom's families. Tradition has established certain forms for wedding invitations and announcements. It is better to omit them entirely than to be careless in the forms used. Their purpose is to announce an event of importance to family, church and society; to invite a guest to be present for this important event.

04. Charts - Bride's family establishes degree of formality of wedding—groom, groomsmen and both fathers conform to this in their attire.

The groom, best man, ushers and both fathers should all dress alike, but not necessarily the same in details. The cut of a man's jacket, the size of the pinstripes in his trousers should be individually his own. Sometimes variations in neckwear, gloves, spats or vests are decided upon for the ushers and the best man and groom.

05. Menus - Luncheon Deviled Cheese Rarebit on Toast Points
Vegetable Salad Mold
Spiced Peaches            Olives
Lime Sherbet
Cookies
Coffee
Tea
Assorted Tea Sandwiches
Olives                                    Vegetable Relishes
Salted Nuts                               Mints
White Cake
(engaged couple's name in icing decoration)
Coffee                                                  Tea

06. Books recommended - Chapter I—Wedding Customs: Encyclopedia Americana, Vol. 18, page 311, 4-493, 9-406, 12-367,

1957, (New York, Chicago, Washington: Americana Corporation) Encyclopedia Britannica, Vol. 4-122b, 20-865b, 14-940b (Chicago,

London, Toronto: William Benton, 1956) Wedding Customs—Then and Now by Carl Holliday (Boston: The

Stratford Co., 1919)

Chapter II—The Engagement; Chapter IV—The Trousseau; Chapter VI—Wedding Plans; Chapter VII—Rehearsal, Ceremony, Reception; Chapter VIII—The Honeymoon; Chapter IX—The Service Wedding; Chapter X—The Wedding Guest; Supplement HI—Wedding Invita­tions and Announcements:

The Author - Lois Barbara Wilson, who has been consultant to approximately 75000 brides in the past 20 years, was born in Kansas City, Mo., June 1, 1909. After graduation from the University of Missouri's School of Nursing with a B.S. degree, she practiced for two years as a graduate nurse in the St. Louis Children's Hospital and then returned to the University for further study. For six years she was well known as a fashion model for one of Kansas City's leading specialty shops.

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