3. Budgets

The word budget does not always carry happy associations. Too often when many of us want to do something really adventurous, or buy something exquisitely exotic, there's the budget to confront us with "No!" But it is that same budget that gets us through school, a sum­mer vacation (like the one when Jane met Henry), a fur coat, and pays the butcher, baker and cosmetic maker. It is very important to work out wedding budgets (since Henry as well as Jane has one), which include all expenses from the time of the engagement to the end of the honeymoon. While Jane's spending is spread over the entire period through the wedding reception, Henry will find that all of his big expenditures, except the purchase of the engagement ring (and the wedding ring if it is bought at the same time), come at once. Whether he is getting married on a shoe string—possibly before he is financially established—or on a steady but modest income, he will be better off if he makes a list with approximate costs of each item and then figures what it amounts to and how he plans to pay for it all.

Think of budgets as plans, and they will not seem so forbidding! The ideal plan is one which will enable you to enjoy your wedding, to cherish the memory of it through the years. You should therefore plan your wedding according to your usual manner of living. You cannot enjoy it if it exceeds your means and if you create burdensome debts for yourself or your parents. Simplicity and good taste are, as always, the best guides.

Before you begin to buy your trousseau, or to make detailed wedding arrangements, sit down and consider seriously how much money you have to spend. It is far better taste to keep the wedding within individual means than to borrow money or permit the bride­groom's family to pay for wedding expenses in order to make an impressive show. Even if a bride of modest financial status is marrying into a wealthy family, the wedding should be a simple one within her family's income. The bridegroom and his family may entertain as lavishly as they wish after the honeymoon.

The bride's family may have a sum of money planned for the wedding expenses and then find, after getting estimates on costs, that they will need to revise their ideas about how much will be needed to arrange the kind of wedding they want. If they can afford it, all is well. If not, they will have to change some of the wedding plans— fewer guests, fewer bridal attendants, a smaller and less elaborate reception, etc. In any event, as soon as the budget is established you should get an account book. As you make purchases and order items, enter them in this book and subtract their cost from the total amount you have to spend. Then you can see at a glance how you are doing.

And now, specifically, what have Jane and Henry to include in their wedding budget planning?

Question 1: What is the average cash expenditure on each bride?

Answer: Recent surveys indicate three thousand dollars—exclusive of presents from friends and relatives. (This figure includes cash spent on furniture, rugs and electrical appliances for the new home as well as cash spent on ceremony, reception and trousseau.)

Question 2: What items of expense come under the bride's budget?

Answer: Personal Trousseau—Today's bride does not plan as far into the future in buying personal clothing as her mother or even older sister did. She also allows for a certain number of presents, particularly lingerie. When she estimates the essentials she will need to buy (see minimum list suggestions in Chapter IV on Trousseau), Jane considers what she has on hand that she can use in her new life, and uses this as a starting point from which she will plan her personal trousseau.

Household Trousseau—Next she plans her household trous­seau. If her budget is generous, Jane goes into marriage, custom­arily, equipped with the basic requirements in linen and kitchen furnishings (see Chapter IV on Trousseau for lists). If her budget is limited, she may be married without many, or any of these things, and plan to accumulate them with Henry's help. If this is the case, her friends should direct shower gifts and wedding presents toward this practical need.

Bridal Gown, etc.—For her bridal attire, Jane may, of course, have an heirloom wedding dress and veil, with only home altera­tions required, if any. If she buys a new bridal gown, either formal or informal, she will find the prices ranging from $50 to $2,500, usually with additional charges for alterations except in prices from $500 up. Certain styles of gowns require special underskirts—hoops and crinolines may be $5 to $250. A merry widow is about fifteen dollars; bridal shoes from $4 to $50; gloves are optional. Jewelry is not used except seed pearls which are usually a gift or a family heirloom.

Note: Occasionally the bride gives her attendants their gowns as a present, but usually this is the case only if her means are practi­cally unlimited (see Chapter VI on Wedding Plans).

Transportation—Automobiles to take members of the bridal party and both sets of parents to the place of the ceremony and reception are required. If Jane's budget is unlimited, chauffeur-driven limousines may be hired. If the budget is restricted, friends usually help by lending and driving their cars.

Ceremony—The ceremony includes various—and varying— expenses: if Jane is a member of the church in which she is to be married, there will not be a church rental fee (except in most synagogues). There is always a rental fee for non-members rang­ing from $25 to $75 (synagogue rental is higher owing to the accessories required). If her budget is limited and Jane cannot be married in her own church, it is a good plan to hold the ceremony and reception at the same place—possibly at home, in order to save the rental fee. Other expenses incident to a church wedding are:

1. Organist's fee—$20 to $100.

1. Sexton's fee—$10 to $50.
2. Awning or canopy and carpet—$25 to several hundred.
3. Decorations—$25 to $1,000 and up. (Orthodox Jewish ceremony requires a canopy which is often made of flowers.) In the sample budgets at the end of this chapter floral decorations for the church are included in flower costs for the reception.

Note: The groom pays the clergyman's fee.

Reception—The reception includes the food (with the wed­ding cake, of course) and drink, flowers and music. Even a very simple wedding reception requires a cake and a beverage to toast the bride, although the drink may be of any kind, alcoholic or non-alcoholic, except tea, coffee or water. The more elaborate reception includes food, champagne, wedding cake, music and flowers. The cost ranges from $100 for wedding cake and ginger-ale punch at home, with fresh flowers from the garden and music from the hi-fi set, to $50 per plate for dinner at a hotel—which includes the rental of the room, food, drink (cocktails, cham­pagne, highballs or non-alcoholic drinks), wedding cake, service and tips. Even at $50 a plate the floral decorations and music may be extra.

A wedding cake ordered alone costs from $20 to well over $100, depending upon the size and decorations. If a catering service is used at home, the price is usually per head and ranges from $1.25 for cocktail food, up, according to the kind of food served, with the cake and beverage extra. For a seated dinner, the price is usually approximately $12 per head, for food. In addition to the food and service, a caterer supplies china, silver, and linen.

A florist usually gives a better rate and does a more satisfactory job if he has the complete order for church and reception decorations, and bridesmaids' bouquets, etc. (see sample budgets). The florist's bill, exclusive of the groom's part, can range from as little as I50 to thousands of dollars.

Note: The groom pays for the corsages for the two mothers, for the bride's going away corsage, and for the boutonnieres for all the men in the wedding party. The bride usually gets an estimate for him when she is getting estimates on her own orders, and then orders for him.

Music prices range from $45 to $50 for one accordian player to hundreds of dollars for a band or string group for several hours.

Invitations, Announcements, etc.

For 50 guests or fewer, invitations should be handwritten on personal stationery. For more, invitations should be engraved. Announcements should be engraved. However, if Jane is on a modest budget and needs to send more than 50 invitations, or has more than 100 announcements to send, she may want to take advantage of the printing process which produces simu­lated engraving. One hundred or more invitations and announce­ments in simulated engraving complete with double envelopes cost from $20 to $30 as against nearly $40 to $60 and up for engraved ones. While printed invitations or announcements are not socially correct, they look well and many people can­not detect the difference. Everyone cannot always afford the best quality of everything, and the budget must "give" some place! No matter what process is selected, all invitations and announcements must be mailed first class.

Photographs

The cost of formal bridal portraits plus a set of candids, if done professionally, is usually $100—more depending upon the special finish of pictures, mounting, and number of albums ordered, etc. If Jane's is a very modest budget, a friend who is clever with his camera and who has offered his services, is wel­come. Wedding pictures are so important that whenever possible they should be done professionally. The day goes quickly, and is remembered through pictures.

Presents, Gratuities, etc.

Jane gives, customarily, a certain number of presents and gratuities. She makes gifts to her bridal attendants. If there is a double ring ceremony, she gives Henry his ring. If the services of a bridal consultant in a store are used, there is a gratuity for her; a tip for the policeman on the corner; and, if Jane lives in an apartment house, tips for the doormen, elevator men, etc. The amount to spend on these items is as flexible as personal taste (note allowances in the sample budgets.)

Parents' Outfits

If the father of the bride (or any relative acting in his place) does not have a dress suit, this might be rented—at a rate usually from $10 up. If necessary, his shirt, socks, studs and possibly dress shoes must be bought. His tie and gloves are usually a gift from the groom. The mother of the bride must be considered as usually she wants a new gown and accessories (an amount for these considerations is included in the sample budgets).

Sample Budgets

The following budgets are suggestions. You will notice that in the sample budgets as the money available increases, the sum spent on the ceremony, reception, transportation, presents and parents' outfits, increases while the amount spent on trousseau decreases a little, and that on bridal attire, photographs, invitations and announcements remains fairly constant. Yet a young woman with unlimited resources may decide to have a simple, economical wedding, while one with very little cash to spend may decide she wants a wedding with all the trimmings, and may upset all the percentages when she tries to get her way!

Budget, $500 Wedding

1. Personal trousseau                                        35%     $175
2. Household trousseau                                    —        —
3. Bridal attire (borrowed)                                —        —
4. Transportation (friends' automobiles) —        —

5& 6. Ceremony and reception at home            40% 200

1. Printed invitations and announcements           5%       25
2. Photographs (friend's camera)                       —        —
3. Presents, etc.                                                10%     50
4. Parents' outfits                                            10%     50

100%   I500

Budget, $1,000 Wedding

1. Personal trousseau                                        25%     $250
2. Household trousseau                                    15%     150
3. Bridal attire                                                  10%     100
4. Transportation (friends' automobiles) —        —
5. Ceremony                                                    3%       30
6. Reception (home, 50-60 guests)                   25%     250
7. Invitations, announcements, stationery,                                  postage                                                      5%       50
8. Photographs                                                7%       70
9. Presents, etc.                                              5%       50
10. 10. Parents' outfits                                       5%       50

100%   $1000

Budget, $1500 Wedding

1. Personal trousseau                                        25%     $375
2. Household trousseau                         15%     225
3. Bridal attire                                                   10%     150
4. Transportation (friends' automobiles) —        —
5. Ceremony                                                    3%       45
6. Reception                                                     25%     375
7. Invitations, announcements, stationery,

postage                                                            5%       75

1. Photographs                                     7%       105
2. Presents, etc.                                                5%       75

10.       Parents' outfits                                      5%       75
100%   $1500

Budget, $2000 Wedding

1. Personal trousseau                                        25%     $500
2. Household trousseau                         15%     300
3. Bridal attire                                                   10%     200
4. Transportation (friends' automobiles)            
5. Ceremony                                                    3%       60
6. Reception                                                     25%     500
   *j. Invitations, announcements, stationery,                           postage                                                            5%      100
7. Photographs                                     7%       140
8. Presents, etc.                                                5%       100

10.       Parents' outfits                                      5%       100
100%   $2000

Budget, $3000 Wedding

1. Personal trousseau                                        20%     $600
2. Household trousseau                         13%     390
3. Bridal attire                                                   10%     300
4. Transportation                                              2%       60
5. Ceremony                                                    3%       90
6. Reception                                                     30%     900
7. Invitations, announcements, stationery,                                              postage                                                      5%       150
8. Photographs                                                 7%       210
9. Presents, etc.                                                5%       150

10. Parents' outfits                                            5%       150
100% $3000

Budget, $5000 Wedding

1. Personal trousseau                                        15%     $750
2. Household trousseau                         10%     500
3. Bridal attire                                                   10%     500
4. Transportation                                              2%       100
5. Ceremony                                                    6%       300
6. Reception                                                     35%     1750
7. Invitations, announcements, stationery,                                  postage                                                      5%       250

8. Photographs                                     7%       350
9. Presents, etc.                                                5%       250
10. Parents' outfits                                            5%       250
100% I5000

Budget, $10,000 Wedding

1. Personal trousseau                                       12%     $1200
2. Household trousseau                                   8%       800
3. Bridal attire                                     10%     1000
4. Transportation                                             1%       100
5. Ceremony                                                   5%       500
6. Reception                                                    42%     4200
7. Invitations, announcements, stationery,                                 postage                                                      5%       500
8. Photographs                                                7%       700
9. Presents, etc.                                               5%       500
10. Parents' outfits                                             5%       500

100% $10,000

Do the budgets seem staggering for anything like a wedding with the trimmings? Then consider the following story of a girl with little cash to spend!

This girl, from Montclair, N.J., graduated from Cornell University in Ithaca, N.Y. in June. She planned a wedding in Montclair for late July. Her family had been socially prominent in Montclair for years, but her mother, now a widow, lived on interest from principal. Ready cash in the family was low.

The bride planned to invite 300 to the church ceremony and wanted about 125 guests, close friends and relatives of her family and her fiancé’s, for a cocktail reception at the Country Club afterwards. Since her family belonged to the club, there was no rental charge for using it for the reception. After getting estimates on the cost o£ wed­ding cake, cocktail food, coffee, champagne, flowers and music, she sat down with pencil and paper to compare estimates with the money she had to spend.

She discovered she had just about enough to pay for champagne, with a little left over. So, she ordered the champagne! Then she really got busy.

She wheedled the chef at Cornell into baking her wedding cake, the house mother into lending her china, silver and glass. Some musician friends of her fiance offered to provide a dance band; an­other friend, with a camera, offered to take candids. She discovered a housewife in Montclair who made a business of making cocktail food for parties at very little cost. The florist in town gave her a special price on flowers. Linens for the bridal table came from her mother's chest at home.

Her wedding gown and veil were a present from her brother. A friend of his did the invitations and announcements as a wedding gift.

On the wedding day, a blazing hot one, two young men drove down to Montclair from Ithaca with the wedding cake, the china, silver and glass in the back of the car. Contrary to fears of those in the know, icing on the cake did not melt; the china and glass did not break, and everything arrived in time—two hours before the cere­mony! The reception was attended by socially prominent people from Montclair and other cities. The effect was good and everyone had a wonderful time.

This is an example of what a bride with a plan can do.

And now, what about the groom in all these plans? What must Henry consider? What are the expenses he includes in his budget?

Bridegroom's Budget

Question 4: What are the essentials for which Henry is responsible?

Answer: Henry provides the following:

1. Engagement and wedding rings.
2. Marriage license. (According to the latest thinking, the
   groom is supposed to pay for blood tests for himself and
   bride-to-be).
3. Bachelor dinner (sometimes given by best man).
4. Gifts to the bride, best man and ushers.
5. Ties, gloves, for best man, ushers and both fathers.
6. Bride's bouquet, going away corsage, corsages for both mothers, and boutonnieres for ushers, best man and himself.
7. Personal trousseau.
8. Wedding outfit.
9. Transportation to wedding for best man and himself.
10. Clergyman's fee.
11. Honeymoon.
12. First month's rent, plus one extra month's rent held as security by landlord on new apartment or home.
13. Deposits on utilities.
14. Cash for operating expenses until the next pay check comes in.

Question 5: What are the cost ranges in these categories?

Answer: Engagement and Wedding Rings—Rings range in price from so little to so very much that each individual needs to decide what he will allow according to his own circumstances (see Chapter II on The Engagement).

Marriage License—The cost of the license varies a little in different localities—usually from around $2 to $5. (See Chapter V Wedding Plans).

Since there is marked variation in doctors' fees for blood tests, the doctor's bill is always an individual estimate.

Bachelor Dinner—The cost cannot be suggested as each in­dividual has such a choice in the way in which this tradition can be carried out—from an evening on the town with each man "dutching" to a catered party in a hotel paid for by the best man or the groom. The main thing is that the groom consider it, and then be provided for whatever is decided upon.

Gifts—The groom gives presents to the bride, the best man and the ushers. The gift to the bride is a personal matter and usually costs as much as the groom can afford. The gifts to the best man and the ushers usually cost from $5 to $25 each.

Accessories for Men in the Wedding Party—The groom is customarily responsible for the ties, and gloves for the best man, ushers and both fathers. Sometimes these can be rented with dress clothes. If so, the groom should check to assure uniformity in selection. The men may offer to buy their own, which is permissible, provided uniformity is assured in the purchases. If the groom buys them, he will find the cost of the ties from $2 to $3 up to $5 or $10 each, and gloves from $3 to $10 or $15 a pair.

Flowers

The average bride's bouquet costs from $10 to $50 (and often is more, if desired); frequently the going away corsage is the center of the bridal bouquet, made to be detached; the mothers' corsages may be from $5 to $15 each; boutonnieres for all the men, from 25¢ to $1 each. The groom should always reassure the bride that he understands the extent of the florist's bill for which he is responsible. As soon as the bride knows what the bill will amount to, she should tell the groom in order that he may in­clude the item in his budget.

Personal Trousseau

For suggested list, see Chapter IV on Trousseau. The groom might list what he has that he will continue to wear, then what he thinks he will need to buy to round out his wardrobe. He might then go shopping to estimate what he will need to spend.

Wedding Outfit

If the groom does not own dress clothes, he will find the dress suit rental ranges from $10 to $25, including vest and hat. He should check to see whether he will need to buy dress shirts, studs, tie, gloves, braces, socks and dress shoes. Also, in winter, he will need to consider his topcoat. Will it look well with dress clothes? If not, can he borrow another?

Transportation

In planning on getting himself and the best man to the wed­ding, the groom should decide whether he will use his own car or whether that will be entrusted to the care of friends in readiness for the honeymoon take-off. If he does not use his own car, perhaps the best man has one; or will they use a taxi?

Clergyman's Fee

This fee is usually from $10 to $25—unless the wedding is very elaborate, when it might be more.

Honeymoon

The groom takes care of the transportation from the place of the reception to the train, plane, ship or hotel—wherever the honeymoon is to begin. He, of course, takes over the expenses of the honeymoon but an estimate cannot be given here because of the great variety of possible plans. Any trip, however, should be planned with a travel agent. Most "packaged" trips do not provide for extras, such as champagne with dinner or a moon­light sail. The groom should have some reserve to provide for such spur-of-the-moment fancies.

Rent, Utilities, Operating—Whether the new home is rented before (which is certainly preferable) or after the honeymoon, the groom must be able to pay the first month's rent, plus, customarily, at least one extra month's rent which the landlord holds as security. In addition, he has the deposits on utilities— gas, electricity, and in some localities, water—as well as telephone installation and service. He must also consider operating ex­penses until his next pay check comes in. Here again estimates must be made by each individual, based upon his own circum­stances. But it is wise to consider all these items in advance of the return home.

Average Budget

Following is the list made by an average bridegroom. Money for the honeymoon was a present from his father. It included an extra amount to cover cash in pocket for unexpected extras on the wedding day and take-off for the honeymoon, and to cover any unusual events on the way home.

1. Engagement and wedding rings                   $200
2. Marriage license                                               5
3. Blood tests                                                    10
4. Bachelor dinner (best man is host)                  —
5. Gifts to bride, best man and ushers                 35
6. Ties and gloves for best man, ushers, and both fathers           40

7. Bridal bouquet, going away corsage, mothers' corsages, boutonnieres                                                                              48

1. Personal trousseau                                        250
2. Wedding outfit—dress suit rental, purchase of shirt,

studs, tie, gloves, braces, socks                          26
10.       Transportation to wedding for best man and himself
(using best man's car)                                         —

1. Clergyman's fee                                            25
2. Honeymoon—trip to the Virgin Islands     1200
3. First month's rent, etc.                                400

$2239

The bride's list of obligations appears so much larger than the groom's because her family is responsible for the wedding ceremony and the reception. Everyone always says that the groom does not have much to worry about until the honeymoon is over and he as­sumes the responsibility of his new wife for life. But, after all is added up, the groom has as much if not more financial burden during the wedding planning as the bride. So, perhaps it is the man who pays —more!

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