8. The Honeymoon

In all the wedding planning, there is perhaps nothing which offers more excitement or more fun in its contemplation than the honey­moon. Jane and Henry will have this time alone together in whatever setting they choose—they may be surrounded by the millions of peo­ple in large cities, or they may be in a cabin in the Maine forests, but essentially they will be alone. It should be one of the most satisfying times of their whole life together.

Traditionally, a bride and groom go away together, alone. From the moment they leave the wedding reception, whether by automo­bile or taxicab, to board train, plane, bus or ship, or to go to a hotel, they should leave families and friends behind. Often they do not tell generally where they are going, although their parents usually know. It is a mistake to plan to meet members of the wedding party later on, after the wedding, at a dinner in town, or to accept a friend's in­vitation to entertain them that evening, even though they may not be going away from town that same night. It may sound like a fine idea when it is being planned, but it does not work out well. Every­one is exhausted, and it is anti-climactic. It is also a great mistake to think it might be great fun to take the train from the suburbs to the city with members of the wedding party. The bride and groom have waited a long time to be alone. They should leave the reception and get on their way—alone.

Question i: Is a honeymoon trip essential?

Answer: Traditionally a bride and groom are supposed to have a wedding trip—to be away from everyone they know during their first adjustment to each other. But if such a trip will strain their financial status too much, they are better off without it.

Question 2: What are some of the general points to consider when planning a wedding trip?

Answer: The honeymoon should be planned on a quiet, not a hectic scale. Spend your time for the most part in one place—some sightseeing is fine, but not too much. You will want a certain amount of quiet and aloneness (you are really getting to know each other in a way impossible before your marriage), but you will want to be with other people, too. Breaking up the trip with different modes of transportation is fun—such as going by auto­mobile to a sea coast, then by ship to an island, and finally re­turn by air.

Remember, the trip is for you both. The tastes of two indi­viduals must be considered. If Henry is a golf enthusiast, while Jane is not particularly enamored of the sport, settle on a spot where she can go swimming while he is on the golf course— unless she prefers to stay with him and walk around the course! If Henry is athletically inclined, he will be, probably, much stronger than Jane. He must remember that she will not be able, most likely, to swim all morning, play tennis all afternoon and dance all evening and remain patient as well as full of energy. With stars in her eyes and love in her heart, she may not think of this when plans are being made. After a husband and wife have been on a number of trips together, they find out many things that a bride and groom haven't had an opportunity to learn about each other. Really long automobile trips are not recom­mended for honeymooners unless they stop over in interesting places for a day or two or even longer; otherwise the trip is at once too strenuous and too confining, and one or the other if not both may grow nervous and irritable.

After you have thought over all the things mentioned above, select many places you would each like to go, then look up a travel agent. He will help you get facts about prices, length of time needed to reach different places, places to stay, things to do while there, clothes required, food, and the kind of people you may expect to meet. A travel agent gives you the best possible help with all these details. When you finally decide where you would like to go, he will make all reservations, buy all tickets, and in some instances, such as European travel, have a native guide meet you at the ship or plane and introduce you to people and places there. He will give you instructions about passports, currency, travel checks, vaccinations required, and all such de­tails. There is no charge for this service. Nor does your trip cost you any more as a result of commissions he collects from trans­portation companies that you use and hotels where you stay. The travel agent will also advise you on sightseeing tours in the spot you have selected. But let us caution you not to sign up for too many in advance. You can always get on a sightseeing bus after you arrive and decide this is what you want to do. The hotel where you stay can make reservations for boat trips or car trips that might be an attraction in your area. In fact, most hotels have social directors who make it their business to suggest outings to guests.

The travel agent will discuss with you the advantages or dis­advantages of renting a car (by day, or week) in the spot you have selected for your trip, and he will advise you about the rates. He will also tell you about "family plan" traveling. The air lines have special rates for families (now that you are husband and wife, you are a family!); if you travel on certain days of the week, you may take advantage of full fare for the groom and half-fare for the bride (two can live more cheaply than one!). And there are special rates offered by some for leaving or coming back during the week rather than over week-ends.

The bridegroom might get a supply of 3 x 5 white index cards. Date each one with each day you will be traveling. At the end of each day, record what you spent in cash that day for taxis, sight-seeing bus, cocktails, souvenirs, and tips, on that day's card —any items over and above transportation tickets and hotel bills. Thus you will know exactly what becomes of cash on hand, you will be helped to balance accounts, and will then know ex­actly how much you have left to spend. File these cards away when you return home. They will be a handy reference when you plan your next trip. How much you actually spend seems al­ways to be over what you thought you would. These cards will be helpful reminders of what money will be needed.

Get a heavy duty manuscript folder—business letter size. Keep in this all tickets, passports, visas, marriage license, the white 3x5 cards, and record of hotel reservations. While traveling, this may be carried on your person or in a piece of hand luggage that you carry with you. It is well to have all these important papers and documents in one place.

The bride should tuck into her luggage some candy bars and perhaps a box of cookies. There are times when the groom might get hungry at night after room service has closed.

The groom might order bottles of iced champagne for the first and last nights of the honeymoon. Some people advise that he carry this with him and have it iced when the time comes. This would be difficult to do, however, unless the honeymoon is a motor trip.

The bride should carry with her a few simple first aid supplies including plastic band aids, iodine or mercurochrome, unguentine (for bad sunburn), one of the new lotions advertised to keep off mosquitos, rubbing alcohol, foot powder, dramamine (for seasickness if their travels will take them on ships), a good cathartic, bicarbonate of soda, some form of sleeping pills or tranquilizer (you may be surprised what the excitement and ex­haustion caused by the wedding and reception may do to you— sometimes it is difficult to unwind) and a flask containing whiskey. The whiskey is especially useful when you are in a plane that happens to run into wind pockets or a feathered engine, or something unusual. Even those who are not drinking people find a little swallow of whiskey comforting and soothing to the nerves at a time like this.

Both bride and groom should be sensible about getting plenty of rest. They should remember that they have been through a very great deal of excitement and should not try to take the honeymoon in too much of a hectic rush. It is a wise investment if they spare themselves an afternoon or a morning of rest. And every now and again it is very wise to take an afternoon in which to do things separately—the groom to play golf, perhaps, while the bride has her hair done, or just relaxes reading in her room.

After a few hours away from each other, a bride and groom will appreciate each other all the more.

And here is a suggestion for the groom: sign the hotel regis­ter "Mr. and Mrs. Henry Hamilton Stuart" and not "Henry Hamilton Stuart and wife."

Question 3: What are packaged honeymoons and what are their advantages?

Answer: Ask your travel agent about them—there are some won­derful ones offered today. They include: transportation for two (train, ship or plane); from several days to a week or ten days in a hotel at the destination—all meals included; transportation from ship or plane to and from hotel. One special price given for two people—all expenses included. Some of the quotations are low in consideration of all that is offered. The overall rate is usually very much lower than that for the same transportation and hotel ordered separately. Accommodations are not always first class or the most luxurious—but they are always adequate and pleasant. The places selected in these packaged honeymoons are especially desirable spots for the purpose.

Question 4: What about a budget for the honeymoon?

Answer: The honeymoon trip must be budgeted as carefully as any other ventures in your life. By the time you have worked together on your budget for your new home based on the groom's in­come, with any extra money you may have (Chapter III), you have discussed finances thoroughly with each other. Today's bride has every opportunity to know how much the groom can afford to spend on their honeymoon. Gone is the day when the little woman didn't know much about any of this except when she was told that she could or could not buy anything. So to­gether you will settle on a honeymoon plan that fits within the budget—and then count on a little extra. Somehow, trips al­ways cost a little more in actuality than they did on paper. Also, you will see things you just must buy—for your new home, or gifts for the family. You'll have much more fun if you know exactly how much you have to spend than if you need to wonder constantly whether you should forego this or that. And it will be fun deciding together on a moonlight sail versus an over­night visit to another island, versus an evening of formal dining and dancing in a glamorous night club, if the budget tells you that you can't do all those things. Most important of all is to keep the trip within the budget rather than to borrow money to finance it—a mistake a groom could well make for so im­portant "once in a lifetime" occasion. It is true that it might seem convenient to "finance" the honeymoon if the groom does not have that lump sum of cash needed at the time. But, when the bride and groom return home, the financial load of those payments for a trip that is all over, added to a set of financial obligations which the groom is experiencing for the first time as a married man, may be too heavy.

Question 5: What should one consider about packing?

Answer: The main thing, always, is to pack as "light" as possible. Whatever the mode of transportation, pack overnight things in one case to be carried as hand luggage, and lock and check through the other pieces. When traveling by ship, place in one or two cases the items you will need for the voyage, and all other items in other cases; then you will not need to pack and unpack all your luggage during the voyage. When traveling by plane, it is often helpful to express your large suitcases to your destination and carry only small, overnight cases with you. Remember that the average person always takes too much on a trip. Nearly every­where you may travel today will have adequate laundry and valet service. Take fewer things and have them laundered and pressed more frequently. It is a good plan to take one or two cosmetic cases (approximately 8" x 8" x 6") lined with waterproof fabric. Put every bottle you carry in these, then if one breaks or spills, clothing will not be soiled or ruined. In general, pack books, shoes, small boxes of things, on the bottom. Stuff in stockings, socks, jersey tops and all soft things that can go into crevices and corners and that do not need to be protected from wrinkling. Put layers of tissue paper between creases of suit jackets, skirts and dresses as you fold them up to size to pack. Cardboard may be used with the tissue paper—fold the garments over it. Put the heaviest in first, the lighter last. Turn men's suit jackets inside out, armhole to armhole with lapels out straight and sleeves down at sides. Fold to size with cardboard and tissue, or only tissue. Pack tightly and firmly—this helps avoid wrinkles. The groom should have a small leather jewel box for his studs and cuff links and tie clasp. The bride should have a soft leather fold-over jewel case to hold her necklaces and ear rings. And she should have a matched set of lingerie cases—one for hand­kerchiefs, one for her good nylon stockings, one for panties, slips, girdles, nightgowns. Carry a plastic bag for that wet swim suit after the last minute swim, or for a wet wash cloth or shower cap. Leave some room to pack things you will pick up along the way.

Question 6: What clothing should be planned for the honeymoon?

Answer: This subject has been discussed under "Trousseau" (Chap­ter IV). However, we have a few special tips: When you go directly to a plane when leaving for your honeymoon, the bride is wise to wear a light weight suit—even though the wedding is in the middle of the summer and the weather quite warm. The plane can get quite cold after a few hours. One oversize hand bag is a must for the bride. Besides the usual items carried in a purse, this will hold note books, tickets (unless the groom carries them all), postal cards, sun glasses, pills, and various other items needed in traveling. When traveling by automobile, you may enter a motel in your driving attire—slacks or shorts, no tie or jacket for the groom. When you intend to register at a city hotel, however, it is suggested that you stop at a roadside station where you each may wash up, where the bride may step into a skirt and the groom slip on tie and jacket. Many hotels, even in the most casual of resort places, require jackets and tie for men in the dining room at night. Be prepared. (This rule applies also to the dining room aboard ship.) The bride should carry a small can of liquid soap to rinse out nylon panties, stock­ings and nightgowns en route (handkerchiefs, gloves, and other small, easily dried items may also be included). Hang your "wash" in your hotel bathroom after your husband has showered in the morning. The bride may also carry a travel iron. How­ever, most wrinkles shake out when clothes are hung up—and for those garments that do not shake out well, the groom might prefer valet service to having the bride's time tied up pressing things. The bride and groom are wise to list articles of clothing and accessories and to make sure they have enough of everything they expect to need before they start out. (See "Trousseau," Chapter IV.) The bride is wrong to think she may buy more face cream, or perfume, or a tooth brush when she arrives. Drug stores are not on every corner everywhere. They may not carry the right brand. They may have different hours from those to which one is accustomed, and be closed just when something is needed. Then the bride may be cross and the groom perplexed —he didn't know women were like that! Or if the groom needs razor blades aboard ship but the ship's store is closed until the next morning at ten o'clock, and he has to meet people at their table the first night out with five o'clock shadow, both bride and groom are disappointed.

Question 7: What papers, documents and cash will be needed?

Answer: Depending upon where one is going, of course, passports, identification, birth certificates, marriage license, insurance and travelers checks will be needed. Do not think of traveling with large amounts of cash. Buy travelers' checks before you leave. They can be cashed anywhere as easily as a ten dollar bill can be changed. If lost or stolen, you can get your money back from the bank where you purchased them. Cash on the other hand, would be gone forever. It is a good plan, also, to divide your travelers' checks into two packets, the bride to carry one half, the groom the other. Do take out luggage insurance. If you have received the last word in movie cameras as a wedding gift, and it disappears, you will have insurance money to buy a new one. Unless you carry accident and health policies, take out this in­surance before your trip. One doesn't like to think of accidents —one should not expect them—but, in case, it is convenient to be able to collect insurance to pay the expenses involved. Always carry identification with you at all times. Take your marriage license with you on your wedding trip. If you do not want to risk carrying the original, ask the best man to have it photostated and to send you the copy.

If you are going to a foreign country, you will need certain special paraphernalia in which to keep your passports. Your travel agent will advise you about this. Passports are issued by the Department of State to identify United States' citizens who wish to travel abroad. A visa is a stamp of approval affixed to the passport by the consulate of the country (or countries) one plans to visit.

Both bride and groom should carry birth certificates with them. Usually these are obtained from the Department of Vital Statistics of the state in which one was born. These certificates are often needed when passports are not—for instance when one goes out of the United States to Bermuda, or Nassau.

Health certificates, vaccine shots data, that may be required for some places will be requested when tickets are purchased— or the travel agent will inform you concerning such regulations.

Question 8: What are the customs concerning tipping?

Answer: It is as bad to overtip as to undertip. There is a minimum tip expected by porters, waiters, washroom attendants, and cab drivers. Establish what this amount is and make up your mind that this must be paid whether or not the service is as good as you would like it to be. If service is better than average, and you intend to return for more of the same service, give a more gen­erous tip.

There are times when it is wise to give a tip in advance to ensure good service, or half the tip in advance and half at the end. For instance, to a pullman porter, or the head waiter—to obtain a better seat. Red caps and sky caps must be tipped for each piece of luggage they carry—no matter how small. The porter on a train receives a tip. Airline hostesses and airliner limousine drivers do not expect a tip. The attendant at the air­port who is employed by the airport rather than by the airlines, who may carry your luggage, is to be tipped. When you travel by ship, dock hands or ship stewards, room stewards, dining room stewards, wine stewards, deck stewards—all must be tipped at the end of the trip. In any hotel or guest house where you stay on the American Plan (meals included), bus boys, day and night maids, dining room stewards (or host and hostess—usually one for breakfast and another for dinner), waiters, beach at­tendants, all receive tips—usually when you leave. However there are times when the hotel will recommend that you tip individual waiters at each meal since they rotate. The amount to tip in the particular circumstances of your trip may be dis­cussed with your travel agent. It is his business to know how to advise you on this. Amounts vary in different localities and depend on the luxuriousness of your accommodations. A tip to a cab driver is pretty much the same the world over, and the tip to a waiter in an average restaurant is 15% in metropolitan cities and sometimes 10% in smaller communities. Many hotels have signs posted in the rooms giving suggestions for tipping their employees. Aboard ship, it is always fun on the last night out to talk over the amount of tips for stewards with other passengers.

The owner of a business or a professional person is not usually tipped. If you wish to express gratitude for special service, send a modest present—liquor or cigars to a man, perfume or candy or flowers to a woman.

And here's a tip on tipping: before you leave for the wedding ceremony, the groom should give the best man a ten dollar bill and ask him to get it changed into five one dollar bills and five dollars worth of half-dollars, quarters, dimes and nickels. Get yourself an old fashioned brass clasped purse and put all this change in it and have it handy with your going away clothes. When you get dressed for your honeymoon take-off, put some of the change in your pocket and put the purse in your hand-luggage. You are then prepared for tipping. On your travels, replace this change as it is used and when you are in a convenient spot to get more.

Question 9: Where and how should one go on the honeymoon?

Answer: Your honeymoon may consist of a week-end at a hotel or resort near where you live or, depending upon what you like to do and the amount of money you have to spend, and the time at your disposal, you may visit Europe, Asia, Africa or Australia —or points in between! The bride and groom should talk over whether they want to swim in the ocean or a pool; what kind of beaches or scenery appeals to them; whether they want to golf or ride horseback; engage in winter sports; whether they like a luxurious, glamorous resort or hotel where they will dress each night for dinner and dancing; or prefer a quiet cottage in the mountains. Many places are offered in the United States, Can­ada, Mexico, Bermuda, Nassau, the West Indies, Hawaii, Europe, South America or the Orient in all price ranges. We have dis­cussed the advantages of a travel agent, but if you hesitate to consult one, you may write to the chambers of commerce of the places you are considering. They will be delighted to send in­formation about hotels, rates, and beautiful colored pictures of their areas. And they outline all details in regard to activities in the community.

The northeastern section of the United States is beautiful, in­teresting and active. Most of New England offers not only beauti­ful scenery, but many historical places of interest. New York State, New Hampshire, Vermont, Maine, Pennsylvania, all offer excellent winter sports, and cool mountain lakes for swim­ming and fishing in the summer. Do not overlook Atlantic City, and some resorts along the Jersey Coast. And don't forget Ni­agara Falls. (People still go there on honeymoons.) If you love the smell of pine in clear mountain air, if you love the crackle of an open fire, if you glory in magnificent scenery, if you like to walk trails and ride horseback, if you are a ski addict, the spot for you is New England.

If you like to swim in mountain lakes, go on moonlight pic­nics, dance in rustic barns, eat family style in unpretentious guest houses (or go to an elegant hotel), the spot for you is one of the numerous places in the Pocono Mountain Range in Pennsylvania.

Some people like cosmopolitan cities. New York, Chicago, Washington, D. C, San Francisco, New Orleans, are all fabulous to visit. In these cities you will find theatres, world-famous restaurants, night clubs, foreign sections, shops that look like fairyland, people, excitement, museums, art galleries, churches, and a thousand other things.

If you like historic, romantic places, wide beaches, green mountains in the background, choose Williamsburg, Virginia, various spots in the Carolinas and Georgia. Sea Island is luxu­rious and elegant. It is always summertime and not too hot. You will find golf, tennis, riding, hiking, and relaxation.

Both the East and West coasts of Florida offer every kind of hotel and motel from the least expensive to the most luxurious imaginable. And Florida is now considered a year around vaca­tion land—many people like it there in the summer as well as in the winter.

Up and down the length and breadth of the great midwest from Minnesota to the Ozarks in Arkansas, there are wonder­ful resorts. Also there are countless places in the vicinity of the Great Lakes.

In the Southwest, where the sun shines brilliantly and the air is as intoxicating as wine, are fabulous dude ranches. In New Mexico and Arizona, the days are hot and the nights are cool. There is plenty of space. It is inspiring. In the winter season, there are some smart hotels in this region that provide everything for guests from swimming to golf or tennis or riding and dancing at night.

There is Sun Valley, Idaho, of course, with the countless ac­tivities and sights it offers. The Rocky Mountains offer magnifi­cence and glory for a motor trip. On such a trip must be in­cluded Yellowstone National Park in Wyoming. And, of course, there is Yosemite National Park in the Sierra Nevada Mountains.

For those who live near the West Coast, or can afford to travel there from wherever they live, Los Angeles, Hollywood and San Diego offer much—from the glamour of movie stars to the grandeur of the Pacific Ocean—including sports, night life, shopping, sightseeing, exotic foods, or quiet relaxation on beau­tiful beaches. There is the smell of eucalyptus in the air; there are old Spanish Missions surrounded by geraniums, palm trees swaying under blue skies. In Palm Springs there are deluxe hotels or little cottages available.

If you yearn for foreign atmosphere, visit Canada—no pass­port needed. Nova Scotia, New Brunswick and Prince Edward Island are beautiful honeymoon locales. One can fly there, rent a car to drive during the visit, stop at small wayside inns or big hotels. The return trip can be on a cruiser with dancing at night, the best of meals and a real sea voyage down the Eastern coast.

The Province of Quebec borders on the St. Lawrence River. The territory around there was settled over 400 years ago by the French. Today, French and English are spoken and every­where one finds quaint customs still in evidence.

Or visit some of the Canadian cities—Ottawa, Toronto, Mont­real, Vancouver or Victoria—which offer many cultural in­terests. You will find the finest hotels and the most courteous English people in all of these cities. Perhaps you will travel to or from there by train through the Canadian Rockies. There is no way to describe the color of these breath-taking, snow-peaked mountains. If you get off the train and take a deep breath of the crystal clear, invigorating air, you will feel that you have experienced something never to be forgotten.

Quaint, fascinating, elegant Canada, with beautiful scenery, fine hotels, excellent shops, charming people to meet, sports, the best highways for driving—and courtesy everywhere. If you have wedding money to spend, buy your best china there—English bone china. It will be shipped home for you. And also plan to buy cashmeres, gloves, all leather goods—all much more cheaply than at home.

Mexico also offers foreign atmosphere, and is easily avail­able by plane from many points in the United States (no pass­port is needed). Or there are good highways for those who have in mind a motor trip. Spanish heritage is to be found here. It is a sunshiny, colorful, spicy country, full of ancient customs mixed with modern trends. From Mexico City to Xochimilco there are all kinds of accommodations from luxurious hotels to little places to stay.

A cruise, a freighter voyage, or a plane trip to Bermuda, Nas­sau, Jamaica, Cuba, the Virgin Islands is no longer the vastly expensive proposition that it used to be and any of these semi-tropical islands offer the utmost in beauty, sports, moonlight romance, rest. Bermuda, Nassau, Jamaica are English ports and their customs reflect the manners and customs of the English people; the Virgin Islands are United States and British; Cuba, of course, United States. Any hotel or guest house selected will be hospitable, comfortable, clean. Some are more elegant than others. Wide beaches, trade winds, blue skies, white puffy clouds and calypso are to be found. In these islands you can buy French perfumes, Danish silver, English bone china, jewelry made from silk worms, Swiss watches, cashmere sweaters, leather goods and countless other things much less expensively than at home be­cause here are "free ports"—duty and tax exempt.

Not so inexpensive is a honeymoon in the Hawaiian Islands, but it is the most romantic of all. Music is in the air always, and the scent of flowers. Lush, tropical growth is everywhere. There East meets West and the Oriental influence is combined with the Western. Hotels are the most fabulous in the world—at least out there they seem to be. Or, if you prefer, you may find small, modest cottages or apartments. The beach boys ride the surf and are picturesque sights in their outrigger canoes. The trade winds blow softly and continuously. The climate is ideal and almost the same the year around—warm, sunny, pleasant.

Lucky are the bride and groom who have the opportunity of a European trip, or a visit to South America, for their honey­moon. For such trips, it is particularly important to consult a travel agent.

As for how to go on your honeymoon, your first consideration will be the kind of transportation available to convey you to the spot of your choice. But for many places you may wish to go, you have the choice of ship, plane, train or car.

Although the season and time available for the journey both influence the place selected, the essential happiness is because the bride and groom are together. The memories of this first trip together, will enhance its meaning through the years that follow.

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