SAMPLE NOTES, LETTERS

1. Letter from the mother of a newly engaged son to her future daughter-in-law:

Dear Mary,

My husband and I are really pleased to hear from John that you two are to be married. Now I can tell you that we have been wishing for this a long time.

We are sorry that we are not there to give you our best wishes. Since we will not be in New York until early in January, I shall invite your parents for a week-end with us in Philadelphia some­time during December. We are looking forward with pleasure to meeting them again, and do want to see you very soon.

With love,

Alicia Smith November twenty •sixth

Letter from the mother of the groom-to-be to the mother of the bride to be:

Dear Mrs. Monoghan;

Henry and I did our best to look properly surprised when John came home this week-end to burst out the news that he and Mary are engaged! Little does he know how anxious we were that nothing interrupt this love affair. We thought he never would get around to asking her. We simply adore your Mary and are now the happiest people in the world.

As I have written Mary, we will not be in New York until January. With the wedding to talk about, that seems too long to wait to see you again. We should like to have you and Mr. Monoghan and the engaged ones here the first week-end in December. I do hope you can make it.

Our best regards to Mr. Monoghan.

Sincerely, Alicia Smith

November twenty-sixth

Letter from the mother of the groom-to-be to the mother of the bride to-be, when the parents have not previously met:

Dear Mrs. Hollis:

Jack just broke the news to us and my husband and I are so happy that your lovely daughter will be a member of our family. Parents do worry about the girl their son will choose. We are fortunate that he fell in love with Helen. I must admit we were not too surprised when he told us they had made the big decision. They seemed so right for each other and so contented together when they were here for that last visit that we guessed what was coming.

Jack keeps saying we must meet Helen's grand Mother and Dad, and, of course, we want to as soon as possible. John and I will be in Kansas City the fourth and fifth of next month. If convenient for you, we should like to stop in to see you on the fourth, after dinner in the evening. At that time, we want to make plans to have you for a week-end in the country.

Jack says Helen looks like her Dad. Please give him our re­gards. We are looking forward to meeting you both.

Sincerely, Louise Dartmouth

April eleventh

Letter from the groom-to-be's mother to his fiancee whom she has not met:

Dear Dolores,

Bill's letters have been so full of Dolores that his father and I felt your engagement might be coming along soon. With each of his glowing reports of you, we have wanted to meet you more. If only you were not so far away, we would have accom­plished this. However, we shall be there for the wedding, of course. Meanwhile Bill has promised us pictures of you, and I hope we will be able to get a little acquainted through letters. Our best regards to your parents, and our best wishes to you!

Most sincerely, Sarah Wright

Letter from the bride-to-be's mother to her future son-in-law:

George Dear-Florence told us the news last night. Her father and I had expected something like this to develop between you two and yet we found ourselves surprised—you know how people are. It doesn't seem long to me since Florence left us to go to New York to become a career woman. And now, here she is planning to marry. We are grateful you were able to come home with her one week-end. We can feel we know you a little. She is so happy that we are happy, too.

I shall write to your mother at once. I hope to talk your par­ents into a plane trip East to visit us before the wedding. If I am successful, I shall, of course, want you and Florence for a few days while they are here.

Florence promises me that you and she will be down for Easter vacation. Her father and I are looking forward to that and mean­while send you all our love.

Sincerely,

Jane Adams

April twelfth

2. Sample notes on personal thank-you's:

The bride's note to an unmarried friend of her mother whom she does not know well:

Dear Miss Petit,

You were sweet and thoughtful to send us that magnificent silver candelabra for a wedding present. George can hardly wait for our first dinner party to use it with lighted candles and our new china and silver.

We surely wish you did not live so far away. We shall miss you at our wedding. Perhaps you will be in town for the opera next season and we will see you then.

Most sincerely, Susan Arnold

June fifth

To the groom's boss and his wife:

Dear Mrs. Anthony,

How will I ever be able to tell you how thrilled George and I are with the beautiful lamp you sent us? It is the perfect shape for the end table next to our big wing chair and the shade picks up the light green color of the chair. How did you guess? Thank you so much. We are looking forward to seeing you and Mr. Anthony at the wedding.

Sincerely, Susan Arnold

January fifth

To a relative of the bride:

Dear Aunt Alice,

The beautiful silver bonbon dish arrived today and John and I are so pleased. The design is just right to go with our flat silver. You and Uncle Al do have the best taste. You are sweet to remember us—thank you.

Affectionately, Sarah

August nineteenth

To friends of the groom's family whom the bride does not know well. Written after her marriage, she signs her own first name and her married surname:

Dear Mrs. Haverman,

John and I are overwhelmed with the Steuben glass vase. It is positively the most elegant gift we have received and will have a place of honor on the foyer table in our apartment. I shall have many pleasant times deciding what kind of leaves or flowers to use in it.

We send regards to Mr. Haverman and our thank-you to you both.

Cordially,

Sarah Daniels

August seventeenth

To friends of her parents whom the bride does not know well, written after her marriage, she signs her own first name, her maiden and married surnames to identify herself to a person who may not be familiar with her new married name:

My dear Mrs. Martin,

How can we ever thank you and Mr. Martin for the lovely tea cups and saucers? They are the only ones we received. Being all white, they fit in with our other things perfectly. My husband says I must keep them for my afternoon tea parties for ladies only because they are much too thin to be safe with the average male! This gift is the kind of exquisite thing we would never have got for ourselves, and we both thank you.

Sincerely,

Sarah Stuart Daniels

August nineteenth

Sample notes for wedding guests (for samples of formal accept­ances and regret, see Chapter X).

Invitations by telephone should be answered by telephone. Speak to the person who telephoned the invitation, or to someone in the household upon whom you feel you can depend to relay the mes­sage:

Mr. and Mrs. Martin accept Mrs. Stuart's invitation to Miss Sarah's wedding on the tenth (or regret that they are unable to accept be­cause of a previous engagement, illness, being out of town.) If a reminder note comes as a follow-up, it does not have to be acknowledged.

When an invitation is received by telegram, the response, either of acceptance or regret, is sent by telegram. All information that was included in the original telegram concerning the date, time, place, bride's and groom's names must be repeated in the answer. Informal, handwritten invitations are answered by the same form, and immediately:

Dear Alice,

We are thrilled to hear about Sarah's wedding and de­lighted to be invited. We will be there on Saturday, the tenth at noon. Until then,

As ever, Natalie

August nineteenth

Or, the same message, except "unfortunately we are beginning our
vacation that week and so will not be able to come."

or,

An invitation by a visiting card is acknowledged by a visiting card:

4. Congratulatory telegrams to the bride and groom are sent, some­times, when people are not able to attend the wedding and recep­tion, but wish to extend felicitations (this is separate from the formal regret which is sent in advance of the wedding). Also peo­ple who know the bride or groom or both, but not intimately enough to have been invited to the wedding, sometimes send telegrams. It is not good taste to try to be funny or clever in a telegram of this sort. The wording of the message is influenced by the degree of intimacy. For instance, from close friends or relatives, the mes­sage might read:

Congratulations, and all our love.

Anne and Henry

From someone not so close:

Happy, happy wedding day and all the best for the future.

Regards,

Mr. and Mrs. Joseph Donovan

5.         A visiting card enclosed with a wedding gift: this is customarily
your "Mr. and Mrs." card. On it you sometimes write a message of
felicitation in black ink. If you are delayed in sending your gift
as much as one or three weeks after the wedding—or longer—it
is customary to write a little note of explanation on the card,
such as:

Dear Lucy,

We are late with this owing to Henry's illness. All our best.

Love, Kathy

6.         Sample notes for informal wedding invitations by handwritten note, visiting cards, telephone and telegram:

An informal wedding invitation by handwritten note
11 Winding Lane

Montclair, New Jersey

Dear Lucy,

Sarah and Henry Daniels will be married in our home on Saturday, May 10th, at noon. We should like to have you and Jules with us for the ceremony and champagne and wedding cake afterwards.

 April 30th

If house stationery is used with the address die stamped at the top, the address is not repeated in the body of the message. If not, it would be given in the note together with the date and time. An informal invitation on a visiting card;

When the invitation is telephoned, and someone other than the bride's mother does the calling, that person must remember to issue the invitation in the mother's name:

I am calling to tell you that Aunt Kate would so much like to have you and George with us on Saturday the tenth when Sarah and Henry are to be married at home at noon. Aunt Kate also hopes you will be able to stay for tea afterwards.

An invitation by telegram is also issued in the name of the bride's mother:

Hope you and George can attend Sarah and Henry's wedding at the house Saturday, May 10th at noon and stay for tea after­wards.

Love, Natalie

7. An informal announcement of a wedding by handwritten note:

This is very rarely done. When it is, the bride's mother must be sure she includes the following points in her message:

That she is pleased about the marriage. If she is not, she should not write the notes at all.

A mention of the reason why engraved announcements were not sent.

A mention of the reason why she has gone to the effort of writing this particular person.

Dear Lucy,

I am really pleased to be writing you to announce that Sarah and John were married last Saturday. It was a sweet little wedding here at home. She has known him over a year, as you know, but couldn't make up her mind to try again after that unfortunate divorce experience. When she finally said "yes," John took her up on it so quickly that the ceremony was over before I had time to realize anything. I do think they are right for each other and feel sure that she will be happy this time.

Sarah and John asked that we not send out engraved announce­ments, since this is a "second" for each. However, you are one of our "intimates" and I simply had to write you the news.

Affectionately,

Kathy August seventeenth

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